Lately, I can’t stop thinking about my hometown–the Leavenworth/Wenatchee area of Washington. I miss home.
We are starting on our 9th month since we moved to Pasadena. We have a visit booked for June 11-19th, which I am really looking forward to. I’m sort of annoyed at myself for missing home so much–I feel like I shouldn’t be feeling this as an adult. But I can’t help it. I just miss it, and I can’t deny it. And honestly, it’s not really even the people that I miss so much. I just miss the area and being able to live there. I miss the simpleness of a small town, and the lower cost of living, and the freedom that brings.
I see pictures of friends from high school on Facebook, and they all seem to be having babies left and right. Most of them seem to be making it financially and some are even stay at home moms. Sometimes I feel like I want to start a family and other times I feel completely unprepared. But lately, I’ve been thinking about it more and more, and I think I’m in a good place of just thinking, and learning, and preparing for it.
I guess right now, I’m just trying to discover how you know when the right timing is. A friend from our Life Group just announced she is pregnant a couple weeks ago, and she and her husband are going to leave for the mission field to the Middle East in December.
I know I probably shouldn’t be comparing myself to others. It’s just that the whole reproduction thing is so weird in our time, because we have so much more control over getting pregnant/not getting pregnant. I know I’m still young, and we have plenty of time to figure it out. Up until now, I haven’t put a lot of thought into it, and now I feel like my thoughts are flooding with baby thoughts. Maybe God is preparing me by giving me the desire, and the interest to learn and plan for the future.
Sometimes I wish I could be an aunt before a mother, but that is looking very unlikely. Paul’s older brother and his wife (last I heard) don’t want kids, and his younger brother and my brother aren’t married. My cousin, Krista, just announced she is pregnant though, so maybe I can pretend and be an “aunt” to her kid. :)
All in God’s timing…